The Great Puppy Chase
by ilovetvalot
Summary: What happens when a puppy runs rampant inside the BAU? I do not own Criminal Minds nor any of its characters.


As JJ lifted the puppy into her black oversized handbag, she whispered to the boston terrier/Jack Russell terrier looking mix, "Now listen, we have to hide you today…No whining, no pottying and definitely no barking once we get inside. And, you have to help me figure out a way to tell David that Roscoe is going to have a new little brother," JJ said, thinking of the black lab at home that David Rossi had given her for their first anniversary.

Walking quickly to the elevator that would take her to the BAU's floor, she said quietly, "I mean it…you have to behave. Don't make me regret pulling the car over to pick you up! But I couldn't just leave you," she said, reaching a hand into the bag to rub the puppy's soft fur, "sitting on the side of the road all alone, shivering."

As the elevator dinged her arrival, JJ and company went quickly to her office and closed the door. Pulling the pint sized puppy from her bag she sat him on the floor as she pulled her sweater from the back of the desk and laid it on the floor. "Okay, little guy, you can use that for a bed today," JJ told him. Grabbing, a decorative bowl from her shelf by the window, JJ quickly poured some bottled water in it. "And there's some water," she continued. Pulling a small container of puppy food from her purse that she'd gotten from the convenience store on the way to work, she peeled the tab back to reveal the stinky contents. Putting the food beside the water, she patted the black puppy's silky head and whispered "Bon Appetit!"

If JJ had only known the damage that little puppy would inflict on her office in a few short hours, she probably wouldn't have been smiling so fondly at him.

*~*

"Hey, honey?" asked Rossi, coming through his wife's office door three hours later. "Do you have time to read this draft?"

Looking up from the endless supply of files on her desk, JJ grinned at her husband. As she stood to come around the desk, the puppy that she'd begun to refer to as Braveheart ran out from under the desk, yapping at the top of his tiny lungs.

"Ssshhh, Braveheart," said Jennifer.

"Jennifer, what is that?" Rossi said, raising one eybrow at her.

"What does it look like, Dave?" asked Jennifer.

"It looks like another dog," Dave said patiently. "But, I thought we discussed getting another dog, Jennifer."

"We did. This was a complete accident," JJ said quickly. "He was on the side of the road, Dave. Shivering!"

David Rossi viewed his wife with well-hidden amusement. The woman was the softest touch known to man. And looking at the dog wannabe, David knew another member had just been added to his ever growing family. Going to one knee, he held out a hand to the little ball of fur leaning against JJ's shapely leg, yipping. "Hey fella! Come'ere and see me," said David, holding out a hand.

As the puppy moved slowly forward, as he reached Dave's hand, he seemed to speed into overdrive. Grabbing the typed manuscript between his teeth from Dave's other hand, he was off to the races. Running out the open office door, he beat a hasty retreat.

Eyes widening, JJ gave chase, yelling "Braveheart, no! Come back!" But the little beast was fast, scampering down the stairs at breakneck speed.

"Dave! Catch him!" yelled JJ, as her husband passed her on the stairs.

"Damn right, I'll catch him! That's the only copy OF that damn manuscript." Dave yelled back. "I told you no more animals!"

"You really want to have this argument now!" JJ retorted, chasing after her dog and her husband.

*~*

Thirty minutes later, they still hadn't found the dog, but they were hot on his trail of terror. Along the way, they'd picked up Morgan who'd lost his hard earned cocktail napkin with the hot waitress's phone number on it. And Reid was still bemoaning his Peter Coyote narrated Fountain Trilogy. Holding up the remnants of one of the cassette tapes, Reid moaned, "Do you know how long I had to look for this?"

"Can it, kid! I flirted for three damn hours last night to get that phone number! Three! She was a sure thing! When I get my hands on that four legged menace, I'm gonna-," Morgan ranted.

"You aren't going to do a blessed thing, Derek Morgan! I'll tell Penelope on you if you do!" JJ snapped.

"The dog is mine! Three hours, Morgan? Try two weeks of carefully thought out text…I'm gonna scalp that dog," Rossi growled.

"You are going to do no such thing!" JJ said, shooting her husband a reproving look.

All heads turned as they heard an angry squeal. "Which one of you sick freaks decided to decapitate Mr. Wiggles?" Penelope Garcia asked angrily, marching toward the assembled members of their team, holding a headless troll doll.

"Yeah, you thought you'd have my Baby Girl on your side," muttered Morgan to Garcia.

"Oh, Pens, it was the puppy? I'm so sorry!" said JJ, taking a step toward her friend.

"Puppy? What puppy?" asked Garcia looking around.

"He's on the loose…like a rabid animal intent on destroying us," growled Rossi, looking around.

"He killed Mr. Wiggles!" Pens yelled plaintitively. "And I have no way to punish a dog, technologically speaking!" she yelled.

"OH MY GOD!" they heard Prentiss yell from behind them.

"Ha! He got her too, I bet!" Reid surmised.

"JJ, your mutant mutt chewed a hole in my purse," Emily yelled.

"Gosh, Em, I'm so sorry! Rossi and I will get you a new purse!" JJ said, near tears.

"It was given to me when I was a teenager. From the king of Sweden!" yelled Emily, enraged. "I'm going to wring that hound from hell's neck!"

"Nobody can kill my dog!" JJ shouted.

Just then, they all looked up as they heard Aaron Hotchner's angry voice say, "Get the hell off my thousand dollar suit jacket, you beast! It's not a bed!" In amazement, all the occupants of the bullpen watched in awe as their Unit Chief chased a ten pound ball of fuzz down the stairs into the area. "What the hell is a dog doing in the BAU?" shouted Hotch. "On my suit jacket, no less!" he said, shaking the offended garment at them.

Five fingers pointed at JJ. "I can explain!" JJ said, holding up her hands.

As six individuals waited for Jennifer Rossi's logic and reasoning, Erin Strauss walked into the bullpen.

"Oh, good, I've got you all together," she announced, looking at the assembled group. "I just needed you all to know that you won't be off for the upcoming Christmas holiday after-," Strauss froze in the middle of her statement. Looking down at her feet in horror as Braveheart, apparently quite startled by his near escape from Hotch proceeded to urinate all over the Section Chief's five hundred dollar Prada shoes.

"I changed my mind," said Rossi, satisfied. "That is soooo my dog!"

~The End~


End file.
